This guide is written in two voices. The Local has lived here. The Returner keeps coming back.
The local
Grew up in Panjim, left for Pune, came back. Now runs a small guesthouse near Palolem and has strong opinions about which beach shacks stopped caring.
The soul of the place
Goa is four places that happen to share a name. There's Panjim, the actual city, with Portuguese architecture and old Catholic families and a football culture that runs through every neighbourhood. There's North Goa (Calangute, Baga, Anjuna, Vagator), which is what most Indians mean when they say "Goa" and which has been operating at capacity since the 1990s. There's South Goa, where the Europeans who don't want North Goa end up: Palolem, Agonda, Patnem, quieter and cleaner and deliberately removed from the noise. And then there's the interior: Ponda, Mollem, the spice farms, the wildlife sanctuary, the Dudhsagar waterfall, the old temples predating the Portuguese conversion. Almost nobody goes there.
Most people visit one of these Goas and think they've seen the place.
When to go
November to February is the window. October is excellent if you want the post-monsoon green without the crowd: the beaches are freshly clean, the shacks have just opened, and the prices haven't caught up with the season yet. March starts to get hot and by April the locals are staying indoors between noon and 4pm.
December is the most overloaded month Goa has experienced in its history. Prices double. Roads clog from Mapusa to Margao. You cannot get a walk-in table at a beach shack you'd have to yourself in November. If you must go in December, book six months in advance and base yourself in South Goa, which absorbs the crowd better.
Getting there & around
Most people fly into Goa. Dabolim is being supplemented by Mopa (the new North Goa airport), which is genuinely more convenient if you're staying in the north. Trains are underrated: the Konkan Railway from Mumbai cuts through the Western Ghats and arrives in Madgaon, which is a real Goan town with a market and a station rather than an airport strip. The journey is the reason to do it.
For getting around: scooter or car. The cab drivers at the airports and taxi stands operate a fixed-price cartel that is expensive and unavoidable unless you use Rapido, which now works in parts of Goa. South Goa and North Goa are not a short drive from each other. Don't base yourself in Palolem planning to do day trips to Anjuna. Commit to one area.
Where to stay
The beach shack accommodation that defined Goa from the 1970s through the 1990s still exists in South Goa. These are huts with fans and mosquito nets and outdoor bathrooms, and the ones that have been running for 20 years do the basics better than a mid-range hotel. Palolem and Agonda have the best options. They're not for everyone; they're exactly right for the people they're for.
Fontainhas in Panjim, the old Latin Quarter, has a small number of boutique guesthouses in Portuguese townhouses that are unlike anything else in Indian hospitality. The tiles, the wrought iron, the narrow lanes. The best places to be if you're spending time in Panjim. And Martin's Corner in Betalbatim if you want something posher on the south coast: it's a restaurant more than a hotel but they have rooms and the food is the reason to go anyway.
What to eat
Fish curry rice. Not from a restaurant with a printed menu, but from a local cafeteria or tiffin counter, somewhere the fish came in that morning. The curry is coconut and chili and tamarind in proportions that don't exist outside Goa. The rice is red rice, shorter and nuttier than what the rest of the country eats. This is the dish that every Goan eats constantly and misses the moment they leave.
Prawn balchão is the other thing: an intensely spiced preserved prawn preparation found at Goan weddings and occasionally in the better neighbourhood restaurants. Bebinca is the dessert: a layered coconut-egg confection that takes 16 hours to make properly and tastes like nothing else. Martin's Corner in Betalbatim is still worth the drive. Vinayak in Margao for the freshest fish thali in the state, no frills, correct price.
What to see & do
The churches are genuinely worth time. The Basilica of Bom Jesus in Old Goa holds the preserved remains of St. Francis Xavier, which sounds strange and is, but the building is extraordinary: ochre baroque in the middle of a cleared field, one of the best church interiors in India. The Fontainhas walk in Panjim takes an hour and the Portuguese townhouses in various states of renovation are the most interesting streetscape of any Indian city I know.
The Arpora Saturday Night Market has been running for 20 years. It's chaotic and much of it is tourist merchandise but there's Goan craft and good food mixed into it, which the newer tourist markets in the north don't have. The Dudhsagar waterfall, in the interior near the Karnataka border, is among the largest waterfalls in India and almost nobody goes because it requires a jeep and half a day. The road through Mollem to get there is the reason to do it even if the falls disappoint you, which they won't.
Know before you go
Goa has been serviced by a large informal workforce of North Indian migrant workers for 30 years. The economy visitors see (beach shacks, guesthouses, restaurants) employs a different population than the Goan families who own the land and the licences. This creates friction that occasionally surfaces as protests, political pressure on shack licences, seasonal closures. The beach shack system has been threatened by environmental regulations several times. Some shacks don't reopen after monsoon. Call ahead.
Feni is the local spirit: double-distilled from cashew apple, fiery, cheap, and unlike anything else. The good stuff is smooth. The bad stuff is not bad in an interesting way. Go slowly with it on the first evening.